And the week continues . . .

There is no change with Dad in Missoula - he has good days where is is aware, eats something and talks and days where he sleeps all day. I will go back over on Sunday or Monday unless sooner if things change.

Weston came to visit yesterday afternoon (Thursday). He hadn't been out here alone for three weeks - since before his Colorado trip, our Billings doctor trip, and the Missoula Dad trip. He wanted to make gingerbread men. I have never done that so I had some new gingerbread cookie cutters and we gave it our "first try". He helped me roll the dough after it cooled and he cut some of the critters out. And, we had fun just frosting them - no decorating. It was our "first try". He loved them!

When we were in the store before we started our baking, he saw a toy guitar and he really wanted it. I said, "I think you have one at home, don't you?" He agreed he did. But, you know how it is, I bought it for him anyway because he assured me "I need one for Grandma's House". So after the cookies and supper, it was time to go home. He wanted to take the new guitar home. I said again, "I think you have one at home, don't you?". This time he looked at me very seriously, "No, Grandma, it is a violin". He is 4! There seems to be no better time. Of course I thought that when he was 1 - and then 2 - and then 3 - and now it continues. We watched our first run of "The Polar Express" - we would pause it as we did more rolling and cutting.

I also had my hair colored and trimmed yesterday - the first time since my "boy cut" in August. I had wanted to let it go natural - again! But the gray is not pretty - and the natural part is too dark. So - it is bright with highlights again - lots of them! I like it for this time of year and my soul likes the extra light as well.

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death. -- Robert Fulghum

Nothing much has changed . . .

Yesterday and today - no change in Missoula with Dad. I am wanting to go back over for a couple days on Sunday, but I will go sooner if things change.

Tonight I had a great dinner with an old technology/professional development friend from Dallas who is in the state to meet with several school superintendents. It was fun to remember the "good old days" - and laugh about the fun we had doing workshops together for schools. We are so much alike - the good and the bad. It was a fun night on her expense account. . . ouch!

Another day on the road . . .

Bob and I went to Missoula today. Mom called last evening and said that Dad was much worse and not expected to live so we hit the road early. It is 210 miles each way to Missoula from here. When we got there, we found that he was about the same as he has been, but the doctors finally decided that they should discontinue the cancer treatment for prostate cancer (he is almost 91) And they placed him in a hospice type program that the nursing home there uses rather than Hospice. That was very upsetting to Mom (she is almost 90) and she saw that as the end.

I suspect Dad will probably die within the next 6 months, but I don't believe it will be today. The nursing home and his doctor keep him pretty drugged up so they can "manage" his behavior. He doesn't like being there - who would? But, he will not leave Mom in Missoula and they will not move here - we tried that 4 years ago. They stayed for 6 months - hated every hour and let me know about it daily and then moved back on their own. One thing for sure - they are tough and independent. God bless them both.

I will go over for a couple days next week and each week thereafter. It might help Mom - she gets a bit confused from being so weary and she still insists on driving so I can help with that. Although, she really doesn't want anyone intervening in her life. She could have selected a senior apartment within walking distance of Dad, but it wasn't "fancy" enough. Did I say they are tough and independent? So she has to drive through the worst traffic in Missoula for several miles to get from her apartment to his nursing home. She could ask for transportation from where she lives or from her sister (much younger) or call a taxi (they can afford that), but she prefers to drive. She goes about every other day. Did I say they were tough and independent?

I loved seeing them both and enjoying Dad's sense of humor even though his speech is slurred from the drugs. I will probably be just like them. I just hope to live so long. Tough, independent, stubborn, long-living, land-loving Montanans - not bad at all.

Home again . . .

It is good to get home so I will share some pictures today. There were some pleasant surprises. Our good neighbors had plowed us out. As we drove west from Billings, I kept thinking, "no way, can there be 2 feet of snow at home." There was just a dusting in Billings and very little along the way although the roads showed the remains of many drivers in the ditch and some still there including a turned over semi-truck. But, once we came to Bozeman, the 2 feet of snow was a reality. And this is what it looked like this morning after a day to settle and melt some as the sun came out yesterday. This is the walk from the driveway to our back door into the kitchen.

I was also greeted by the new blooms of my Christmas cactus. It begins blooming every year at this time and it continues until about the first of April. The pot is one I made years ago and it is "hand built" from slab. I just like it beside the plant. The plant sits on an old piano stool. The plant came from clippings from my aunt who got them from my grandmother who passed away over 70 years ago. It is a family plant.

Of course - I did have to stop at Fiberworks in Billings before we left town. It is the most amazing quilt and fabric store I have ever been in. It is like walking into a visual symphony of beautiful quilt samples and fabric. It is owned by Laura Heine and she is a wonderful fabric artist and does amazing longarm quilting. Her focus is more on texture than pattern and the piecing or applique is always enhanced perfectly. You know how sometimes it is fun to see different quilt tops quilted differently? With her work, I can not imagine the quilting being anything other than what it is. I bought this pattern. I am not sure I will make it as I just love the pattern. The quilt itself is amazing, but I am not sure I want to replicate it - rather just enjoy looking at the picture. . . drooling on the picture may be more accurate.

Bob is off to the football game - the MSU Bobcats are playing Sacramento State from California. It is cold out - maybe 31 degrees for the high today - so one of his good friends is using my ticket. They will both enjoy that and I can stay home to quilt. It works for me! I am so thankful Bob is not recovering from surgery - and we will work on the recovering part.

I also came home to some overripe bananas and decided to make whole wheat banana muffins. I need to get with the baking and cooking and try some low fat recipes. This one has little oil and I replaced part of it with applesauce. It is my part in helping him get to a better place with the health issues - and it sure won't hurt me either.

So, the coffee if fresh and the muffins are hot - I wish you were here to share a visit, a cuppa and a bite or two. It is good to be home . . .

Lots of snow and no surgery now. . .

We are still in Billings. Bob had another test this morning and the final decision by the team of doctors is to try some drugs and check it again in 3 months. So we are enjoying the idea no surgery now and we will do this again in early February.

And - we talked with our neighbors at home and we have over 24 inches of snow and the power was out for 6 or 7 hours. So, we decided to wait and go home tomorrow.

We had a nice supper out tonight with some long time friends. It has been a good day.

Some good news . . .

We got here to Billings and Bob had the ultra sound done here again at the cardiovascular clinic here. They did not believe the blockage was as bad as we had been told in Bozeman. They said they would place it at between 50 and 69% on each side and they follow the guideline that unless it is over 70% and there are symptoms of mini-stroke that the surgery has more possibility of stroke than that blockage level. He does have some symptoms, however, so they are going to do a CT scan with dye in the morning to verify the readings here as there has been discrepency in the various tests. But, it sounds better to us. If they see a need for surgery, it would not be considered an emergency and we can schedule it for next week or the week after. There could be a kink or severe turn in the arteries that are reading as heavy blockage and that will show up tomorrow.

But for now, we are feeling better. We have just returned to the hotel after a wonderful dinner out at a favorite restaurant. Our hotel is right in the parking lot of this large medical complex and it is a wonderful hotel. We go out the front door of the hotel and walk into the entry to the cardiovascular clinic.

Veteran's Day . . .

I remember a story of my Uncle Paul when he was in Korea - one that has guided my life for all these past decades. He wrote a letter home to Mom and she was reading it in the car to Dad as we drove home to the farm from town. I was in the back seat and I can see the back of that seat, their heads and hear her reading just as if it happened a moment ago. He wrote how they were on the front lines in a trench and shells were being lofted from friendly fire behind them and the enemy in front of them. His buddy next to him was hit. It was dark and cold and they were without any protection. He remembered Psalms 23 from memory and repeated it over and over until morning came. That visual and these words have guided my life and held me strong for all of my life . . .

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

I watched the memorial service yesterday for the fallen soldiers from Fort Hood. I watched every minute and some parts many times. I could not stop the tears. These words in particular, from President Obama, stay with me today:

"Tomorrow is Veterans Day. It is a chance to pause, and to pay tribute – for students to learn of the struggles that preceded them; for families to honor the service of parents and grandparents; for citizens to reflect upon the sacrifices that have been made in pursuit of a more perfect union.

For history is filled with heroes. You may remember the stories of a grandfather who marched across Europe; an uncle who fought in Vietnam; a sister who served in the Gulf. But as we honor the many generations who have served, I think all of us – every single American – must acknowledge that this generation has more than proved itself the equal of those who have come before.

We need not look to the past for greatness, because it is before our very eyes."

Thank you!